4

How cool.
well i finally got daring and wanted to do one of my final posts. i started this blog about a year ago now. as time has gone on i've posted less and less. There is a good reason for that there is less to say. I had my first real world changing experience the other day. It was the day i'd waited for my entire life. I was walking down the hall and caught myself in a window. usually i'd see how i was walking and try and straighten up. well not this time. i looked in amazement as i saw i was walking straight. so i did something i've never gotten to do before. i slowed down. I've been walking fast for years it was for many reasons. first if i can walk fast enough no one will see me limp. second to get to someplace to sit down. third seeing myself wobble just made me mad. I took a deep breath and relaxed, how cool is that. my muscles were tired that day and i thought to myself, a few more weeks and i'll be able to try some of those things out that i've never done before. i want to glide, saunter, swager, strut, prance, stride, take walks, maybe even hike. havent decided if i'm not just to lazy for the last one or not. every step has taken so much thought and effort for so long that being able to, just do it ,is a completley new experience. i will stand now even if there is a chair open. i sway just a little because it dosent hurt. i can finally say this is amazing. i would have had to deal with it if they couldnt have adjusted the leg lengths but after waiting so long for surgery i wouldnt have been near as happy with the final outcome if i still had to hobble wobble or limp. I owe alot to my surgeon, the whole physical therapy staff, my two wonderful occupational therapists who helped me make sure i was able to do all my own adl's when i got home. Most of all my family. Louis , dylan, alexis , kaylee, kevin, randy and grandmommy, zoe, linda , my hippie friend jill . I've been truly blessed to have each and everyone of you in my life thank you.

how do you even explain these. they are amazing. the work is unreal. i went from nothing to something. yeah i still have a ways to go. but how could i begin to complain. if they did that much drilling on any other bone they would have gone straight thru it. i had to put the normal one just for comparison. its a dramatic difference easy for anyone to look at. my os should have taped this one. he did some fanatstic work. and i'm young enough he'll be able to brag for years and years.he said he had to go in and find the landmarks to make sure everything came out even. what land marks. there is nothing symetrical about my hips. lol. before surgery nothing matched this is pure artistry. when he went in the left there wasnt even bone where he needed it to be. i am so greatful God truly put me where i needed to be. and you got to love the screws, i might get arthritis in every other bone in my body buy by heavens those hips arent moving. lol.

getting up to speed

i was so good about posting after the last one,
so let me play catch up. This is a different experience
the other day i was thinking about how slow it seems at times and it hit me. when i first came home i couldnt move my left leg on my own. the first day at pt standing up to move it by itself forward just a few inches was a job. moving it to either side, pretty much impossible. This week i did my first leg raises, i'm still needing a fingers worth of support but i've been doing them. two weeks ago i was happy with raising my heal off the floor two inches. its a big change. i'm getting to the home stretch. next week i'm looking at going from two crutches to one. this is week 5, i have to tell you there is something to week 5, its the impatient week i think. the first couple of weeks excepting limitations is ok, right about now this is the time when your just about there, and it is a rough time. i overdid it yesterday and had to cut back on pt a little. i did that last time too. lol, i am a creature of habit. well i'm able to sleep easier and i've only been taking pain pills on occasion. i actually tied both of my shoes this week, even put my socks on. i am a perfectionist so i'm pretty hard on my self, but you know when i see it all written down i'm pretty proud too. when i started back to pt this time. i was really scared. my left wasnt strong at all and the question i had in the back of my head is, " am i ever going to get it back" i didnt tell anyone. i'm supposed to be strong, i begged for both hips to be done close together, i didnt want to show i had any weakness. now i can say it because i can actually see the progress.
i get excited knowing that in a short time the crutches will be gone and i will be walking. strolling, sauntering, gliding, prancing. and doing all of that without thought or pain. life is good.

round 2

well i'm really behind but i wanted to catch yall up
i went for the second thr the right this time 2weeks ago
august 22nd. this was supposed to be the better of the two. it surprised the dr and me. turns out part of the cup the holds the long bone in place just wasnt there
that was news to both the dr and i. the top of the long bone wasnt much to speak of either but he had to do extra drilling and positioning to put the cup in. then what i can only think is explained by previous osteotomies my muscle was twisted around my bone. so my os was kind enough to reposition the muscle. The first week after the surgery was pretty intense. it was alot more painful and i'm more restricted this time. I promised my os i would be good so unbelievably i have been . plenty of rest and elevation. my leg this week is not as strong as the other was but all that will take is more exercise. the great thing is these new hips are mine permanently. so i have plenty of time to build the muscle and there is no marathon i have to be ready for. in the next few weeks i know there is going to be a day that i wake up and without medication i realize that its thru. this journey i've been going thru for years now is over and i can just relax because the pain is gone.

There is a side note i just want to let you all know about. i wondered when the day would come and it has. my right hip now just feels like my own. it dosent feel replaced its 10 weeks old today and outside of having to remind myself when i'm standing it feels fantastic. i'v been on the walker since surgery but as it is my good leg right now it is doing fantastic.

that is what this is all about. two big surgeries and two recoveries but at the end of a few weeks i get to feel normal. Thank God. i'll post later

the next step

hi everyone,
well i'm 71/2 weeks out from my first new hip. i have to tell you its great. before the last hip i had a cookout with tons of people this time it wont be that instead i'll be taking the kids to the infantry museum. yes a walking day. i'm not afraid of it either. it was funny though when i went for my pre op the parking lot at the hospital was full, that old horrible feeling of "oh no" came back. i used to hate that walk. well it wasnt bad, it was long for the new hip but the left was the one that hurt and that is why i'm doing surgery #2. with the pain gone in the right getting up and down has been much easier so much in fact that even i had to think is it really worth doing the left or was it just compensatory pain from having to do so much work. well during that walk i remembered. i remembered just how bad the left is. it always hurt differently then the right . it was hard to describe before but the right hip just killed me to stand , just to stand was excruciating it only took a few minutes of walking before i was just throwing it forward to take the next step. the left was different its always been the one to pop and click. its always been more unstable and infact until the right collapsed no one believed that the right really hurt more then the left. boy i showed them, lol. anyhow sleeping and the grinding pain from my left hip is about to be gone. i'm starting all over and no i really dont like that part, its surgery and surgery is never fun buy i'm so greatful that once its over i'm done not just for a little while for a very long time.
i have to give my surgeon some credit here. i have faith in him that is the reason i feel so confident that once this is over i wont be back for a very long time. i can physically see by how straight my leg is and the precision of his work, but looking at the xrays made me feel even better. you know it makes all the pt feel very worth while too because i'm working towards an end. that point that i dont even feel like i have new hips and i dont have pain anymore.

i've always dreaded the relearning how to walk part but it is very different this time. this time it feels final. yes i'm young and there will be at least one replacement years from now but i'm so excited to think that its years without pain i have to look forward too.

I have my mom to thank and she's not here to tell her, but she had her hip replaced during the stone ages. i wish she could have had the success that i have already started to experience. before she died at 58 she had already had multiple revisions, cement disease and stress fractures beneath the prosthetic. it really didnt make the outcome look very appealing i was really scared how much pain she would have had to live in had she gotten old. i was scared for myself too. my outlook has really changed in the past month and now i'm more excied then anything . so pray for me because i can only imagine how great this is really going to be.

a special note

normally i dont use names on here because its public
but today i have to. i've been in physical therapy for 5 weeks now
yall have seen my critic. i've become stronger and feel truly great. they have been great to me there. bless their hearts, as i have been in the house for the last two months with mostly the kids and i already have an apptitude for speach, you know i talk them to death. lol. Now let me tell you about my buddy she is a student who just started her clinical portion of school. Even in the last few weeks i've seen her confidence grow. She is enthusiastic and positive always cheerful and very caring. she has been patient and you can see her excitement about trying the stuff she has learned. now yall know me and i ask alot of tough questions, you know medial people make the worst patients. If she didnt know the answer she found out the answer for me, i also appreciate that she didnt just guess. the best person is the one that remains teachable. now alot of people might think that hip surgery is about the hardware and the actual surgery. that part is really the planning stage.
you make sure you pick the best surgeon, one with skill that you trust. during surgery your asleep though and after its his/her job to make sure you dont hurt and your progressing. After surgery comes the work part and the physical therapists are the ones that are there. from a very personal view my limp has been just as hard on me as the pain. even before the really bad pain started i hated it. the constant looks and people wondering what was wrong with you. its like someone constantly saying you must have a cold when you feel fine, your first thought is i must look bad. So Colby as you go into the work force and continue what you've started i hope you know that all your hard work is appreciated, i hope you always strive to push people a little harder then they think they can go , and keep that wonderful attitude because as they walk, bend, use their hands and arms they may not think to thank you but you are impacting their lives just like you have mine. i hope you share this post at school and friends and family because you've earned it.
monique

the left hip

i finally got a good pic of the left. i've flipped them in the past so you could see them from the back this time its looking at you so it looks like i'm showing you the right again but this is the left.

this is the new one

i went for my six week check up. got my second surgery scheduled for the 17th. i'm excited. i cant wait to be over the hump with both hips done ready to be on my way to total recovery. i love the first so the second will make me complete....

week 6

so were finally here. i go to the dr tomorrow to hopefully get my new surgery date.
i'm excited to reach the halfway point. i am not having hip pain, i get some muscle soreness, but i no longer go days between seeing my kitchen. i feel like getting out again, basically i feel like a new person.
i get excited and a little anxious when i think of doing this again. i know how much better i feel but its alot of work.
i'm excited about the work as well. i know that once both hips are done i can go to the gym. my time in physical therapy ,especially on the bike ,has shown me that exercise isnt supposed to hurt the way i'm used to it hurting.
its like if you had a headache every day of your life. you know it hurts it makes you miserable, but you've always had this headache so there is no point telling everyone. then one day you take a med that works all you can think is man this is great you mean everyone else feels like this. wow no wonder i hated to do some things they loved to do . you know the cumulative "they", the ones that you compare yourself to that dont really exhist.
comming up always having hip stuff is hard. you feel the same as everyone else but everyone notices your different. walking is very tell tale. 60% of language is body language. (learned that in my speach class, lol) anyhow in the past i've done alot so people wouldnt notice how i walked. in large groups there were times i wanted to just shrink away. i avoided places that required heels, and i always tried to walk fast just to get it over with. just doing those things makes you appear less confident, yes there is a walk that shows confidence, determination, success. a limp makes you appear flawed, broken.
now what it should show is perserverance, anyone that has hip stuff knows it takes alot to do things others take for granted. it should show the exact things it takes away from, the determination and success especially, it takes alot to take painful steps and keep on going.
in life you see lots of people that use excuses not to succeed people that arent physically flawed. when you've lived your life trying to overcome these flaws its really hard to understand these people all you can think is "they are so lucky". so today i'm feeling blessed. each time i exercise is a chance for me to improve a outward perception of who i am. i'm the same but to be seen as the person i really am is important.

walking 5 weeks post op right side

5 weeks and just can t believe the difference

first i have to tell on myself.
i was bad last week. i started by terring down the kids room, and redoing it. i went on to a week long going to the stores. all of them best buy, books a million and the grocery store. i cooked and cleaned and did my Pt, man i was on a role. it felt great. then the final day last thursday and after hours of walking and lingering in the isles of the neverending book store. it was done. i overdid it. i was sore and eventhough i went to pt on friday and did all i was supposed to even rested the weekend on monday i paid. i was still sore. as i saddled up on my nemasis the bicycle and started, i had to back off. and ask for it to be turned down. they even lowered my workout for the day. oh i really felt bad. after the easier workout and ice. it was not the pain that got to me it was knowing that my recover had to go back a step because i wanted so bad to try out my new found freedom..
i went today and even got to move ahead. did my full time on the torture machine with an extra minute and started some new work.

the recovery however smooth and predicted does get long. there are the days that it seems to never end. so close yet so far away. its not like regular surgery, once the surgical pain is gone its just done. its a process and i am neither patient nor a quitter so i believe i should be superhuman and all things should just be good by now.
i do have to say it dosent take long for reality to set in, two weeks ago i was still using a walker now i use a cane. when i'm around the house i do tend to forget about the cane. i'm not thinking much about the surgical pain any more and the nights are fairly comfortable. its this tail end part when i'm thinking about how to get my walk straight so that nobody notices that seems long. i mean wow. i'm not even to the six week mark and all this has happened. how much faster could i ask for. 5 muscles were cut or pulled everywhich way. the top of the bone was amputated and i have new metal parts. i think my expectations are a little too high.

i think my real fear is a common one. its the fear of still having the limp. its always been something people have noticed and i hate it. now i feel this yet today when i saw a friend she said you dont even limp anymore. now i really do but i guess since she saw me weeks before surgery its not really that bad.
my new goal. to take it easier on myself. let the healing time finish and just keep on working on it. i'm also going to try and remember that my improvements are comming by the day. its not months and weeks anymore. its not a case of having the good days followed by the bad months anymore.

what the day brings

today i found out i got a huge compliment. a friend that actually can find a little inspiration from my blog. that is fantastic. That is what this is all about. i started it to record my feelings and i spent alot of time looking up info so i put it in here too. there are so many of us young hipsters, but the only role model most people including myself get to see is the 90 year old who breaks a hip and never fully recovers. its hard not to feel very alone in the process. when the only hope and inspiration is feeling bad that "this had to happen to them" its really hard to get motivated..

then you go online and find bonesmart.org. with fantastic, informed moderators. you see others with the same thing you have and some alot younger then you doing the same thing you are, all you can think is "Thank you God". at that point you reevaluate your goals and you go from i just want to be able to get thru a day. to anything is possible and this is just a brief moment in time. It is truly an amazing feeling and i am so greatful for my friends that are going thru the same stuff as me and those that went thru it and stick close to help the rest of us out.

all i can say is thank you. each and every one of you. and to my friend. just know i get alot of inspiration from you too.

how i feel about the surgery, by Dylan age 12

Hi i think my moms surgery changed alot but, how i feel is what changed the most. I thought there would be alot that was different when i came back but, to my surprise not alot changed. Now my mom wont be in pain all the time. Thats the bst part.So i hope i can post again tomorrow but until then bye.

the feet

ok, since surgery the one thing i've been able to do is stair at my feet and see how beautifully straight my right foot is and that my left still points out. it was the first visable sign of all the os's hard work. so eventhough this is a silly pic i'm very proud of it.

the race

the race is on to be walking fast before she is running.
this is the day the staples

the day of surgery

this is my family the day of surgery..

physical terrorists

i've always teased that i was looking forward to organized torture with the physical terrorists, well i have to say there not that bad. i have had great physical therapy. now i tease that i have a personal trainer. that is actually a more accurate description. they ask all the time weather i'm having pain so i feel like not only am i getting a good work out but i'm really being looked after. i used to go to the gym three times a week for 1 hour did upper and lower with some half hearted sit ups , i hate those things, lol. now i go three times a week 45 min to work out 1 limb. this is all on my way to becomming the bionic woman.

they really have me on track and eventhough they keep me working forward they dont let me overdo it. i came home yesterday in a full sweat oh yes, my lack of activity is catching up with me. i need to correct i was only on the bike for 6 min, not seven. but my tension was increased to 8. i actually had to stop. as they looked making sure i wasnt hurting i had to stop to catch my breath and take a drink. i continued and made it the last minute. ok now after i finished and was on my last exercise even after the bike my legs were only trembeling from muscle fatigue a little. i was pretty proud. after i got home getting up and down i was funny. i felt like the first day at the gym as i think ooooohhhhhhh as i get up and straighten out. boy have i had a work out. i feel great this morning, but my nemasis the bike still reels in my mind as i think about tomorrow. i sit there feeling like the little train that could. i think i can, i think i can ,i think i can.

beginning week 3 pt

ok. were starting week three.
physical therapy was wonderful. i did 7min on the bike only this time i had some tension. i found out that boy i'm out of shape. lol. the hip felt great but i was working up a sweat. then on to the teeter board and the doing the step with my right leg first. up to 30 reps on everything. then the incline board for some squats and the the mat work with my leg raises. the kids came with and talked the whole time of course. they asked if they could have weights on i told them they were just beginniners so no weight for them, but it was fun to make them count with me. i'm down to two ibuprofen and around 1 pain pill a day. 1/2 twice a day. but it is beautiful. they really kicked it up a notch but i was up to the task. maybe next week i'll be able to do a leg raise with the weight, its the only time i had to say i just cant do it. so that is my next challenge. he did say my leg raise without the weight looked alot better. it felt better too. i got a pat on the back that was nice, i was told i'm weeks ahead, that is great made me feel really good its always nice to know your work is noticed. i might be ahead but you know the important thing is to keep on track, so my goal is to take it easy and keep up with my workouts. keep yall updated.

week 2 physical therapy

well were at the end of the second week of physical therapy
i'm 18 days out from surgery
i'm still on a walker, but i'm feeling good
i can drive, i can start swimming next week
i'm down to 1 pain pill a day and 2 ibuprofen
pt was great this week today i did it with no pain meds
it was a little harder but it felt like a good work out when i left
i'm so glad i got my new hip. i can stand and fold laundry i can stand and do dishes i am not the best house keeper but its nice to be able to do things i havent for a while. my life is comming back. i got a slap on the wrist from the dr and told to slow down this week so i am. i'm stubborn but i want my hip to last so i'm being good. three months from now i'll have two new hips and be able to do more then i've done in years. i love it.

finally on the other side

ok. i'm so excited to be here.
let me recap.
surgery went very well os, was able to restore all the leg length discrepency so i'm even. the first few days were rough. but each day gets easier.

i started out on a walker and walked to the nurses station and back the day after surgery. the next day 100 ft and the third 200 feet and tried some stairs.
i went home after physical therapy on the 4th day.
when i came home i had a cook out waiting for me.
i enjoyed all the love and support.

well as i said i'm 11 days out. what i can do today i couldnt before surgery
1. i can rotate my right leg out to 25 degrees
2. i bath and dress myself and can generally get around pretty good. on a walker
3. i'm down to two pain pills a day and take them before i exercise.
4. from my hip to my toes my right leg is now straight. everything beautifully in line toes point to the ceiling.
5. when my post op measurements were done my range of motion on my right is now better then my left.
my incision is beautiful but in the itchy stage.
staples come out on the 7th.
oh and i went to the ricardo sanchez concert this week thanks to the kindness of my friends at church. it was fantastic. for anyone that dosent know who that is he is a fantastic christian singer. The concert was outstanding and a blessing to all that heard it.
so this is week 2 and i have to say. i'm so glad i did this.
i started this blog so i would be able to look back on the tough days and see why i'm putting myself thru this. i've got to tell you
outside of that first post op day. i havent questioned it. each day i see progress and i realize that i needed it more then i even thought.
the physical thearapist says that the outcome from surgery seems proportional to the pain before surgery. i have to agree. i was really bad enough off before surgery that this part only seems like a brief moment in time.
i'm getting back to enjoying life. i'm not afraid every time i have to stand up. i dont have any hip pain anymore. on the right. i ache, and get sore and sleeping can still be a challenge but no excruciating pain its beautiful.

ok it might be tomorrow

Anyone that reads my title might not understand. i got all the way to the waiting area for the OR two weeks ago and hit a stop sign. UTI. for anyone that dosent know what that is. its a great big joy kill. lol. believe me i wasnt laughing at the time.
i was calmer that day then i've been for months. finally the day was here i was about to begin a long recovery .
#1 recovery. that is where you start out in pain and you get better every day.
#2 no surgery. that is where you hurt every day and it only gets worse.
very short pro and con list.
ok. so if anyone can tell me this i'd love to hear it. i hear alot of people say they are scared. i've not been scared i've been excited frusterated with waiting and afraid it wouldnt happen but not scared of the surgery. it would figure that i'd still be here waiting.

the song somewhere over the rainbow is playing happily in my head right now. if i can get to the rainbow it will be an uphill battle to get to the top but once i've reached it i can get to the pot of gold on the other side.

so i'm praying that tomorrow is the day
and i hope i wont be checking in till next week.

the final 3

ok so were almost there. surgery scheduled for 730 monday. i'm so excited. i'd like to thank all my loved ones and friends who have shown me their support. in the past 15 years i've thought many times 'this is the time" then i've put it off a few more years. well i'm here and i'm so glad. not glad because i hurt. glad because i'm finally going to know a life without pain. my hips wont be reconstruction anymore. they will be new. maybell (my right hip) will be traded in for veronica. she has served me long past her time. i'm glad to retire her. cheers.

want to be a surgeon

i found this site to help the kids, but the whole family has played the games. try it out. http://www.edheads.org/

walking at work

well, i was at work yesterday and after working at the clinic from 530am till 8am
i went to the hospital to take care of 2 patients. at the end of the day 645pm. walking around beds in tight quarters, i left our med box in the room and the paperwork and then told my boss today what time i left. right now the walk down to the 1st floor all the way to the supervisors office then to mailing for the billing and then to the car then back into the clinic up the steps to clock out is just impossible at the end of the day. well most other days i do it or i decide which really has to be done. and usually end up telling my boss the time. i wasnt tired and i'm not lazy i just sat there dreading that walk. its an aweful feeling the one i hate the most. knowing exactly what i need to do and knowing how much i'm going to hurt doing it. i know for most people these arent big things, but right now they are miserable. i dont remember anymore when they werent,
i dont remember when walking down to the caffeteria wasnt a dreaded experience
i dont remember when getting up from the couch or a chair took 5 minutes.
i do remember when i would take off at 5pm and decide to do a project in the house and stay up all night doing it. i remember when i would plan day trips with the kids to the zoo, i knew it would be hard but i could still do it. i remember when the kids were gone how i would get dressed and go to the book store and look around for hours. now i pass because i cant stand in the isles long enough to look at all the titles. i remember going dancing all night every weekend and even some during the week and now i dont even bother. i want all that back. i look at the dishes in the sink and know i cant stand long enough to wash all of them. i love to cook always have and now i dont even do that much. it includes walking thru the store and then standing at the counter or stove. even if i sit while i cook i have to keep getting up. i look at this and think man i've gotten so lazy, but i havent i still want to do all these things and whith my new hardware i will. i want to go to the lake with the kids and not have to sit halfway , i never even got near the water. my friend went and played with them. i didnt go all the way because i knew i couldnt make it back. i think alot since i started this and sometimes i hate that i cant remember what it was like to be without pain. i look forward to rehab i cant wait to exercise.
i've never been able to really stretch because i've always let pain be an indicator of what was to far for my hips. i'll have a bigger range of motion now then i ever have and i look forward to trying it out. i'll be able to do leg raises now i'll know if i cant that its muscular and i just need to work harder. i'd like to think since i've always worked on my feet that my muscles will still respond when i tell them to. i read stories of people that knew normal who have this and they say its great after i want to be able to do that.

yes

ok, so my hidden fear that my leave would be turned down is now gone. oh thank you God. i qualify for fmla and the extended leave. i get both hips done in one leave i get to go back to work 100% this is going to be great. ( oh i'm gonna hate this post in my i did this to myself days). i've waited for this for so long and now my final few obstacles are comming down. God must really know this is time because my normal procrastination has gone away and i'm getting my ducks in a row. i'm under the thirty day mark and i finally feel like i will make it.

5/6/209

to all of those i love,
well i'm off work today and amazingly my mood is much better. lol. i love my job, but pain is a definite distraction. one i'm ready to trade in. i'd like to say thanks to all those that have stood by me especially now when my good and bad days seem to run together. the less my body does for me the more i get in my own head. since i already think too much that is a bad place to be. yesterday i took my mobic, used lidocain patches on each hip and still ended up taking a pain pill. when i got home all i could think is i just want to quit hurting. its bad i can actually see how someone could overdose just trying to get pain to go away. now i've got the meds prescribed but i hate taking pain meds. just dosent make sense to me. i take the pill to keep going in my life but after i take it all i want to do is sleep. if i went to sleep i wouldnt need the pain pill. a sick catch 22. pain is a symptom so i've never wanted to take the meds before. well now i know the problem and surgery is the only solution to make it go away. i think this is how i justify taking the meds. i know when i look at my own xrays i have a very legit reason, still hate being foggy headed. tooo type A. only a few more weeks. i'm so excited. just wait after i'll be saying "i did this to myself". surgery is tough but it is good to know the relief can be permanent. my greatest gifts ,my kids will reap the benefit for this i'm truly greatful.

and another long day

ok. so i'm doing a photo journal. this is me walking, i'm not hurting at this time but i dont have on any shoes. there is an inch and 1/2 difference and i've got the penguin thing down pat. i didnt realize i was walking more like my mother till i watched this. i hope in a few weeks this is a thing of the past. i got a new cut and colored my hair. a patient said you look sexy with your hair like that all i could say is wait till i have the walk to go with it.

The left leg will be replaced 3-6 weeks after the right. it has 30 degrees external rotation. unfortunatly when i was done with the pic the leg was locked in this position and it took a few minutes to straighten out. this is the maximum without dislocating because this leg dosent have very good coverage

4/28 external rotation right leg

my right is the worst and as you can see i cant even sit up straight against the wall to take this pic, i dont have 5 degrees external rotation at this point.

Hip-Baby.org Home Page

Hip-Baby.org Home Page

Hip Replacement Surgery - When Is Hip Replacement Surgery Necessary Video - About.com

Hip Replacement Surgery - When Is Hip Replacement Surgery Necessary Video - About.com

Videos for Patients - UW Medicine - Department of Orthopedics and Sports Medicine

Videos for Patients - UW Medicine - Department of Orthopedics and Sports Medicine

4/26

i wonder when i would have made this decision if i hadnt had my last daughter. for 10 years i hadnt even been to an os, i was always told to suck it up and wait as long as i could. i would go thru my months with lots of pain and then it would get better for a while. i was too embarased to ask for anything for pain because i spent my whole life just trying to be like everyone else. all i really ever thought was, they trade one feels bad then the other, there is no point in going to the dr until i was ready to have them replaced, then there was the funny part, i couldnt ever tell which felt worse.lol. when i got pregnant this last time i knew i had no choice but i think it was because the hormones caused the right to become unstable, it looks horrible and feels just as bad but the left has to compensate so much that sometimes it hurts worse. not being able to really know what is true hip pain and pain from compensation comes out confusing at times. as i was in the os office the other day we sat there trying to decide which to do first, my right has been my leading lady for so long that when i come out it will really be with two bad legs. to me there is no difference between doing them at the same time or just the right. so i've really pushed to have them done as close as possible. let me start out fresh. when i look at the xrays i know that the right is probably why the left is hurting so much so i have to go with my gut. but i also know that if i dont have them both done i'll wonder if i didnt make a mistake. I pray that i can know for the first time in my life what it is like to walk, just walk without even thinking about it. to think that i can walk pain free is even better and to imagine that i could walk without a limp absolutly amazing. my mind is racing thinking abou all this. the last question in my mind is if the left dosent really need to be done but in my heart i know this is the right decision. my goal to feel like i'm 20 when i turn 40. and if i can have 10-15 years with no pain then the question of revision dosent even matter. put me in a wheel chair i dont care i just want this one chance, i'm not a candidate for fusion because its both. but give me a few years to really just enjoy life. i'll put all the work in that you tell me to get to that point. anyhow, just my thoughts for the day. i hope after that my posts become less and less because i've moved on to the point that i just dont have time to do this.

4/25

just another day in the countdown. worked this morning legs in alot of pain nerves going crazy in the left leg. going back and fourth between excited, scared, and necessity. i also think each day is getting longer every time i think about it all i can think is its gonna be so much better. i also wonder what it will be like being myself again. its been so long since i walked descent and could do stuff even around the house without pain that i wonder if i'll get that same energy back..

and now the rest of the story.... 4/24/2009

Well the time is here i've gotten to the point i dont have good days . my activities are limited so much that all i do is work and come home and supervise from the couch. my kids are proficient sandwich makers and frozen meal chefs because there are days that cooking after work is just not something i can get too. i set the date for my surgery yesterday. its june 8th. i think each day is going to be a little harder and easier at the same time now. i know there is an end in site but its just out of my reach. my left leg is spasaming at night i rotate from side to side just to feel some relief . we agreed that as long as i recover well i can have both hips done the left 4-6 weeks after the right. he said that was my out. i told him that was his out. i'm ready. i'm a planner so i have all my info and now i'm ready to get to work. its hard for me to understand he is worried about me not having a good leg to stand on while one heals. my point is i dont have a good leg. at least with surgical pain i know the work is mine to do. i'll have a full range of motion. more then i've ever had. all i can think is if i can go on with what i have, having both done at the same time leaves me at an advantage not a disadvantag. its like putting a new tire on and saying wait till next year and well change the other one too. let me tell you this gremlin is about to turn into a mustang. because lets face it piecing together a gremlin will never get you as much as adding a coat of polish to a mustang. i've had the gremlin way to long and its time for a upgrade.

history in the making april 24th 2009

This is my past and present and hope for my future. I was born with bilateral congenital hip dysplasia, my left hip was found first and my right was found weeks later.
i started with the traditional tripple diapers. closed reductions and spika casts came next.
we followed those up with open reductions and pin tractions.
I didnt walk until i was 4y/o..
Eventhough i couldnt walk i got into everything most of which my mom got blamed for. i learned how to pull myself along using my arms, instead of the little mermaid i was the beached mermaid. with a plaster tail.
Nurses stayed on my mom for turning me on my back when they wanted me on my stomach, giving long lectures on bed sores. of course no one knew it was me. i hated not being able to see what was going on. lol.
I found my free time in the hospital was best spent doing pull ups on the trapeez as i grew. by this time we were on to salter shelf procedures and derotation osteotomies. with my all too familiar spica cast. i could be carried by the wonderful bar in the middle.
I remember my first boyfriend he was cool he had a fiberglass cast, i'd always had plaster. I was around 8, we met on a rainy night in the play room. me in my wheel chair that was long like a bed with pillows surrouning me ,playing nurf basketball. the nurse brought us milkshakes. our romance was soon over because he went home and we never saw each other again. that was my favorite cast though, one of the nurses aids was an artist and drew disney characters all over it. i even made them save them. i kept them until the plaster crumbled.
by this time i was 12 my last surgery, i'm up to number 22. this was my chairi. i had goten avascular necrosis in my right hip and the did an osteotomy and core decompression. but the shelf on my right is amazing. it has lasted until now and i'm 36.
i have to say. i was still a rebel. i had my first fiberglass cast this time. a 1/2 spica. and i was on crutches with strict instructions not to walk. well everyday when my mom would leave and the sitter would be in the other room i took steps around my room and since out of necessity comes invention i figured out how i could prop myself to use the bathroom. no more bedpans.
this was the stopping point there was no more reconstruction to offer. i was way too young to do replacements on and although they left quite a masterpiece, no two like mine, this was the bridge until i was old enough to have them replaced.

when i was 17 i thought it was time. i was seen at mayo clinic rochester minnisota. my dr report said that i had a well compensated gait. with minimal limp. 1 was 134lbs and 5'6" and obese. i needed to lose weight , use a cain and reduce activity. . i couldnt even get into handicap
Gym because they were afraid i'd hurt myself. They offered to replace my hips then and said it was up to me if i didnt i'd be back in 4-6 years. my mom and i talked (she'd been revised two times by this point and had cement disease from her first hip. she told me if i really felt like it needed to be done ok. but to remember that there was no telling if they could revise it and it would only last 10-12 years. i'm greatful she left the decision to me because if she said no i would have said yes. (17 you see). i knew it was better to wait
i had pain and limped more when i was up for long periods and oh how i hated the long halls at school. but i was just going to have to deal with it.
i finished high school and started waitressing. i couldnt do long distance walking but i could do alot of short distance walking. boy did i have a good time. i'd never been given anything for pain. only the couple days after surgery so i had a pretty good tolerence. i also had a fear that i would become tolerant and then what would i do.
as i got older i'd go thru months at a time with severe pain but then it would ease up and i'd be fine for a while. eventhough i walked ok.(not great) the difference in my legs took its toll and by the time i was 22 i ruptured a disc. oh yeah sciatica. right let down to my big toe. i refused to have my back operated on and in about a year the fluid moved off the disc and it fused itself and went away.
I went on to have my first baby. everyone's question. would i be able to deliver and then the really nosey folks. what about ummhumm? well heres the answer " never been a problem just got to be creative". i delivered with no problems. a few years later i went on to have my second but by this time i was having alot more paing. i had actually broken down and started taking something for the nerve pain, then i found out i was expecting. i cried, i dint know how i was going to get thru it. see after living so long with nothing for pain to have relief, its hard to give up. but i did. and had healthy baby #2. i didnt go back on any meds.
as time has gone on the pain has increased and the cycles got shorter and that brings me to this year. just over a year ago i lost my mom to lung cancer. my biggest fear for her was always how much she would hurt as she got older. she was on her third revision and had titanium ties holding her femer around the prostesis because she started to stress fracture below it.
she is my mentor. she kept on me with that wonderful mantra. heel toe, heel toe, dont drag your feet bend your knees. aint isnt a word. lol. i always worked on how i walked because she had such a harsh limp. she worked on my walk for the same reason i know now.
i started having trouble with my right leg, severe unrelenting pain shortly before i was pregnant with # 3. i asked God and for a new car and he gave me a car seat. ironically finding this fun fact after two forms of birthcontrol on a trip to the dr to have my tubes tied. lol. Yep he always gives us what we need... well this time the pain didnt end and i couldnt take anything i couldnt even find out what was wrong no xrays. and after struggeling for 5 months i got to where i couldnt make it from my car into work. i spent the next 4 months in a wheel chair on the rare occasion i went to the store. i spent days where i didnt even see my kitchen it was way too far.. about 200 feet. i couldnt sleep in my bed because my right hip would cross midline and shift waking me in excruciating pain i had no stability in either leg and dreaded leaving the house because i have three steps that if i got down them i didnt know if i could get back up.
i had my daughter and i loved my epidural. i chose to have it before hand so that they could move my hips as much as possible and if they dislocated they could replace them without me feeling it. i was brilliant. i had her in about 3 hours she was 7lbs and 8oz. i was sore for a couple days my legs still unstable but improved. at 5 weeks i went to my OS.
he finally got to xray and found the right hip completly collapsed. it is fixed and locked in position when i asked him about the left he said it only looked good compared to the right.
he said he had to wait until my baby was 6 months so my hormones would normalize and i told him i had to go back to work and to "dope me up doc" at least this time i could have some relief while i wait.