i wonder when i would have made this decision if i hadnt had my last daughter. for 10 years i hadnt even been to an os, i was always told to suck it up and wait as long as i could. i would go thru my months with lots of pain and then it would get better for a while. i was too embarased to ask for anything for pain because i spent my whole life just trying to be like everyone else. all i really ever thought was, they trade one feels bad then the other, there is no point in going to the dr until i was ready to have them replaced, then there was the funny part, i couldnt ever tell which felt worse.lol. when i got pregnant this last time i knew i had no choice but i think it was because the hormones caused the right to become unstable, it looks horrible and feels just as bad but the left has to compensate so much that sometimes it hurts worse. not being able to really know what is true hip pain and pain from compensation comes out confusing at times. as i was in the os office the other day we sat there trying to decide which to do first, my right has been my leading lady for so long that when i come out it will really be with two bad legs. to me there is no difference between doing them at the same time or just the right. so i've really pushed to have them done as close as possible. let me start out fresh. when i look at the xrays i know that the right is probably why the left is hurting so much so i have to go with my gut. but i also know that if i dont have them both done i'll wonder if i didnt make a mistake. I pray that i can know for the first time in my life what it is like to walk, just walk without even thinking about it. to think that i can walk pain free is even better and to imagine that i could walk without a limp absolutly amazing. my mind is racing thinking abou all this. the last question in my mind is if the left dosent really need to be done but in my heart i know this is the right decision. my goal to feel like i'm 20 when i turn 40. and if i can have 10-15 years with no pain then the question of revision dosent even matter. put me in a wheel chair i dont care i just want this one chance, i'm not a candidate for fusion because its both. but give me a few years to really just enjoy life. i'll put all the work in that you tell me to get to that point. anyhow, just my thoughts for the day. i hope after that my posts become less and less because i've moved on to the point that i just dont have time to do this.
