hi everyone,
well i'm 71/2 weeks out from my first new hip. i have to tell you its great. before the last hip i had a cookout with tons of people this time it wont be that instead i'll be taking the kids to the infantry museum. yes a walking day. i'm not afraid of it either. it was funny though when i went for my pre op the parking lot at the hospital was full, that old horrible feeling of "oh no" came back. i used to hate that walk. well it wasnt bad, it was long for the new hip but the left was the one that hurt and that is why i'm doing surgery #2. with the pain gone in the right getting up and down has been much easier so much in fact that even i had to think is it really worth doing the left or was it just compensatory pain from having to do so much work. well during that walk i remembered. i remembered just how bad the left is. it always hurt differently then the right . it was hard to describe before but the right hip just killed me to stand , just to stand was excruciating it only took a few minutes of walking before i was just throwing it forward to take the next step. the left was different its always been the one to pop and click. its always been more unstable and infact until the right collapsed no one believed that the right really hurt more then the left. boy i showed them, lol. anyhow sleeping and the grinding pain from my left hip is about to be gone. i'm starting all over and no i really dont like that part, its surgery and surgery is never fun buy i'm so greatful that once its over i'm done not just for a little while for a very long time.
i have to give my surgeon some credit here. i have faith in him that is the reason i feel so confident that once this is over i wont be back for a very long time. i can physically see by how straight my leg is and the precision of his work, but looking at the xrays made me feel even better. you know it makes all the pt feel very worth while too because i'm working towards an end. that point that i dont even feel like i have new hips and i dont have pain anymore.
i've always dreaded the relearning how to walk part but it is very different this time. this time it feels final. yes i'm young and there will be at least one replacement years from now but i'm so excited to think that its years without pain i have to look forward too.
I have my mom to thank and she's not here to tell her, but she had her hip replaced during the stone ages. i wish she could have had the success that i have already started to experience. before she died at 58 she had already had multiple revisions, cement disease and stress fractures beneath the prosthetic. it really didnt make the outcome look very appealing i was really scared how much pain she would have had to live in had she gotten old. i was scared for myself too. my outlook has really changed in the past month and now i'm more excied then anything . so pray for me because i can only imagine how great this is really going to be.
Friday, August 14, 2009
Friday, August 7, 2009
a special note
normally i dont use names on here because its public
but today i have to. i've been in physical therapy for 5 weeks now
yall have seen my critic. i've become stronger and feel truly great. they have been great to me there. bless their hearts, as i have been in the house for the last two months with mostly the kids and i already have an apptitude for speach, you know i talk them to death. lol. Now let me tell you about my buddy she is a student who just started her clinical portion of school. Even in the last few weeks i've seen her confidence grow. She is enthusiastic and positive always cheerful and very caring. she has been patient and you can see her excitement about trying the stuff she has learned. now yall know me and i ask alot of tough questions, you know medial people make the worst patients. If she didnt know the answer she found out the answer for me, i also appreciate that she didnt just guess. the best person is the one that remains teachable. now alot of people might think that hip surgery is about the hardware and the actual surgery. that part is really the planning stage.
you make sure you pick the best surgeon, one with skill that you trust. during surgery your asleep though and after its his/her job to make sure you dont hurt and your progressing. After surgery comes the work part and the physical therapists are the ones that are there. from a very personal view my limp has been just as hard on me as the pain. even before the really bad pain started i hated it. the constant looks and people wondering what was wrong with you. its like someone constantly saying you must have a cold when you feel fine, your first thought is i must look bad. So Colby as you go into the work force and continue what you've started i hope you know that all your hard work is appreciated, i hope you always strive to push people a little harder then they think they can go , and keep that wonderful attitude because as they walk, bend, use their hands and arms they may not think to thank you but you are impacting their lives just like you have mine. i hope you share this post at school and friends and family because you've earned it.
monique
but today i have to. i've been in physical therapy for 5 weeks now
yall have seen my critic. i've become stronger and feel truly great. they have been great to me there. bless their hearts, as i have been in the house for the last two months with mostly the kids and i already have an apptitude for speach, you know i talk them to death. lol. Now let me tell you about my buddy she is a student who just started her clinical portion of school. Even in the last few weeks i've seen her confidence grow. She is enthusiastic and positive always cheerful and very caring. she has been patient and you can see her excitement about trying the stuff she has learned. now yall know me and i ask alot of tough questions, you know medial people make the worst patients. If she didnt know the answer she found out the answer for me, i also appreciate that she didnt just guess. the best person is the one that remains teachable. now alot of people might think that hip surgery is about the hardware and the actual surgery. that part is really the planning stage.
you make sure you pick the best surgeon, one with skill that you trust. during surgery your asleep though and after its his/her job to make sure you dont hurt and your progressing. After surgery comes the work part and the physical therapists are the ones that are there. from a very personal view my limp has been just as hard on me as the pain. even before the really bad pain started i hated it. the constant looks and people wondering what was wrong with you. its like someone constantly saying you must have a cold when you feel fine, your first thought is i must look bad. So Colby as you go into the work force and continue what you've started i hope you know that all your hard work is appreciated, i hope you always strive to push people a little harder then they think they can go , and keep that wonderful attitude because as they walk, bend, use their hands and arms they may not think to thank you but you are impacting their lives just like you have mine. i hope you share this post at school and friends and family because you've earned it.
monique
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
the left hip
i finally got a good pic of the left. i've flipped them in the past so you could see them from the back this time its looking at you so it looks like i'm showing you the right again but this is the left.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
this is the new one
i went for my six week check up. got my second surgery scheduled for the 17th. i'm excited. i cant wait to be over the hump with both hips done ready to be on my way to total recovery. i love the first so the second will make me complete....
Monday, August 3, 2009
week 6
so were finally here. i go to the dr tomorrow to hopefully get my new surgery date.
i'm excited to reach the halfway point. i am not having hip pain, i get some muscle soreness, but i no longer go days between seeing my kitchen. i feel like getting out again, basically i feel like a new person.
i get excited and a little anxious when i think of doing this again. i know how much better i feel but its alot of work.
i'm excited about the work as well. i know that once both hips are done i can go to the gym. my time in physical therapy ,especially on the bike ,has shown me that exercise isnt supposed to hurt the way i'm used to it hurting.
its like if you had a headache every day of your life. you know it hurts it makes you miserable, but you've always had this headache so there is no point telling everyone. then one day you take a med that works all you can think is man this is great you mean everyone else feels like this. wow no wonder i hated to do some things they loved to do . you know the cumulative "they", the ones that you compare yourself to that dont really exhist.
comming up always having hip stuff is hard. you feel the same as everyone else but everyone notices your different. walking is very tell tale. 60% of language is body language. (learned that in my speach class, lol) anyhow in the past i've done alot so people wouldnt notice how i walked. in large groups there were times i wanted to just shrink away. i avoided places that required heels, and i always tried to walk fast just to get it over with. just doing those things makes you appear less confident, yes there is a walk that shows confidence, determination, success. a limp makes you appear flawed, broken.
now what it should show is perserverance, anyone that has hip stuff knows it takes alot to do things others take for granted. it should show the exact things it takes away from, the determination and success especially, it takes alot to take painful steps and keep on going.
in life you see lots of people that use excuses not to succeed people that arent physically flawed. when you've lived your life trying to overcome these flaws its really hard to understand these people all you can think is "they are so lucky". so today i'm feeling blessed. each time i exercise is a chance for me to improve a outward perception of who i am. i'm the same but to be seen as the person i really am is important.
i'm excited to reach the halfway point. i am not having hip pain, i get some muscle soreness, but i no longer go days between seeing my kitchen. i feel like getting out again, basically i feel like a new person.
i get excited and a little anxious when i think of doing this again. i know how much better i feel but its alot of work.
i'm excited about the work as well. i know that once both hips are done i can go to the gym. my time in physical therapy ,especially on the bike ,has shown me that exercise isnt supposed to hurt the way i'm used to it hurting.
its like if you had a headache every day of your life. you know it hurts it makes you miserable, but you've always had this headache so there is no point telling everyone. then one day you take a med that works all you can think is man this is great you mean everyone else feels like this. wow no wonder i hated to do some things they loved to do . you know the cumulative "they", the ones that you compare yourself to that dont really exhist.
comming up always having hip stuff is hard. you feel the same as everyone else but everyone notices your different. walking is very tell tale. 60% of language is body language. (learned that in my speach class, lol) anyhow in the past i've done alot so people wouldnt notice how i walked. in large groups there were times i wanted to just shrink away. i avoided places that required heels, and i always tried to walk fast just to get it over with. just doing those things makes you appear less confident, yes there is a walk that shows confidence, determination, success. a limp makes you appear flawed, broken.
now what it should show is perserverance, anyone that has hip stuff knows it takes alot to do things others take for granted. it should show the exact things it takes away from, the determination and success especially, it takes alot to take painful steps and keep on going.
in life you see lots of people that use excuses not to succeed people that arent physically flawed. when you've lived your life trying to overcome these flaws its really hard to understand these people all you can think is "they are so lucky". so today i'm feeling blessed. each time i exercise is a chance for me to improve a outward perception of who i am. i'm the same but to be seen as the person i really am is important.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
5 weeks and just can t believe the difference
first i have to tell on myself.
i was bad last week. i started by terring down the kids room, and redoing it. i went on to a week long going to the stores. all of them best buy, books a million and the grocery store. i cooked and cleaned and did my Pt, man i was on a role. it felt great. then the final day last thursday and after hours of walking and lingering in the isles of the neverending book store. it was done. i overdid it. i was sore and eventhough i went to pt on friday and did all i was supposed to even rested the weekend on monday i paid. i was still sore. as i saddled up on my nemasis the bicycle and started, i had to back off. and ask for it to be turned down. they even lowered my workout for the day. oh i really felt bad. after the easier workout and ice. it was not the pain that got to me it was knowing that my recover had to go back a step because i wanted so bad to try out my new found freedom..
i went today and even got to move ahead. did my full time on the torture machine with an extra minute and started some new work.
the recovery however smooth and predicted does get long. there are the days that it seems to never end. so close yet so far away. its not like regular surgery, once the surgical pain is gone its just done. its a process and i am neither patient nor a quitter so i believe i should be superhuman and all things should just be good by now.
i do have to say it dosent take long for reality to set in, two weeks ago i was still using a walker now i use a cane. when i'm around the house i do tend to forget about the cane. i'm not thinking much about the surgical pain any more and the nights are fairly comfortable. its this tail end part when i'm thinking about how to get my walk straight so that nobody notices that seems long. i mean wow. i'm not even to the six week mark and all this has happened. how much faster could i ask for. 5 muscles were cut or pulled everywhich way. the top of the bone was amputated and i have new metal parts. i think my expectations are a little too high.
i think my real fear is a common one. its the fear of still having the limp. its always been something people have noticed and i hate it. now i feel this yet today when i saw a friend she said you dont even limp anymore. now i really do but i guess since she saw me weeks before surgery its not really that bad.
my new goal. to take it easier on myself. let the healing time finish and just keep on working on it. i'm also going to try and remember that my improvements are comming by the day. its not months and weeks anymore. its not a case of having the good days followed by the bad months anymore.
i was bad last week. i started by terring down the kids room, and redoing it. i went on to a week long going to the stores. all of them best buy, books a million and the grocery store. i cooked and cleaned and did my Pt, man i was on a role. it felt great. then the final day last thursday and after hours of walking and lingering in the isles of the neverending book store. it was done. i overdid it. i was sore and eventhough i went to pt on friday and did all i was supposed to even rested the weekend on monday i paid. i was still sore. as i saddled up on my nemasis the bicycle and started, i had to back off. and ask for it to be turned down. they even lowered my workout for the day. oh i really felt bad. after the easier workout and ice. it was not the pain that got to me it was knowing that my recover had to go back a step because i wanted so bad to try out my new found freedom..
i went today and even got to move ahead. did my full time on the torture machine with an extra minute and started some new work.
the recovery however smooth and predicted does get long. there are the days that it seems to never end. so close yet so far away. its not like regular surgery, once the surgical pain is gone its just done. its a process and i am neither patient nor a quitter so i believe i should be superhuman and all things should just be good by now.
i do have to say it dosent take long for reality to set in, two weeks ago i was still using a walker now i use a cane. when i'm around the house i do tend to forget about the cane. i'm not thinking much about the surgical pain any more and the nights are fairly comfortable. its this tail end part when i'm thinking about how to get my walk straight so that nobody notices that seems long. i mean wow. i'm not even to the six week mark and all this has happened. how much faster could i ask for. 5 muscles were cut or pulled everywhich way. the top of the bone was amputated and i have new metal parts. i think my expectations are a little too high.
i think my real fear is a common one. its the fear of still having the limp. its always been something people have noticed and i hate it. now i feel this yet today when i saw a friend she said you dont even limp anymore. now i really do but i guess since she saw me weeks before surgery its not really that bad.
my new goal. to take it easier on myself. let the healing time finish and just keep on working on it. i'm also going to try and remember that my improvements are comming by the day. its not months and weeks anymore. its not a case of having the good days followed by the bad months anymore.
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